Category Blog

Spreading Your Ashes To Places We Have Been Together

Spreading The Ashes Of My Son In Places We Were Together

Temidayo, one year ago today, on 29 September 2023, your earthly remains were cremated and sent off to eternity. That day, I made a promise to myself, to bring and spread your ashes to all the places we have been…

I Have Been Hiding My Pain Behind A Wall Of Smiles

For one year I have been hiding my pain behind a wall of smiles. For 365 days only a few knew about the tragedy that enveloped my life exactly 1 year ago. In public I have been strong. In private…

Why begin a business if you already have money

When do you have enough money? You already have money in your pocket. So why begin a business if you already have money? What about legacy building? The focus on money is narrow-mindedness and short term thinking. Aliko Dangote is…

Right of Agitation – A note to those people fighting for “our” freedom

Maastricht_-_Akersteenweg_-_maxtrixbord_met_coronawaarschuwing by Otter

Right of agitation. Let me start by saying I support your right of agitation, to protest and to resist. I am very ambivalent about all the measures taken and the explanation given by the government in the fight against Covid-19.…

White is a colour too

Somehow in the past we have, by a kind of mutual consent, agreed to give each other a colour code. You can argue about the correctness of the colour classification but we agreed on white, black, brown, even yellow. Why…

I am not racist is not the same as we are not racists!

I wrote this before and will repeat it. The fact that I don’t discriminate does not mean we don’t discriminate. So when people talk about their experiences, listen first. Hear them before you start defending yourself or things you don’t…

Poverty Porn and The Messiah Syndrome

The Messiah Syndrome. Let me begin on a funny note. Every time I post a reflective thought on Facebook, “friends” unfriend me en masse. Since I shared my latest thoughts “If I was born & grew up in Europe, even…

Kenya we need to talk!

Dearest Kenya, We need to talk. I have always loved you from the moment we set eyes on each other. It is you I always come back to every year in Africa. I come to you like a baby to…

Zielona Gora – Love at every sight!

Zielona Gora! One of the perks of being an Afropean is the fact that you can travel through 2 continents feeling at home everywhere you go. However being of African heritage, you sometimes need to have a strength of character…

Biafra!

Unlike many Nigerian/Biafrans, I am old enough to already have been a school going child during the Biafra war 1967-1970. I am old enough to have seen the evil that war caused. After millions died, all the war achieved was to cause years of pain to the innocents. Those who were at the top and wanted war escaped with their lives and made money out of the suffering of the people. I am aware of the reasons why people are agitating for a separate Biafra again. I am neutral on this. In fact, I have always felt Nigeria is an artificial entity that would not survive into the 21st century but I was proved wrong. What I am afraid of is a repeat of the Biafra war. Nigeria could go the way of USSR/Czechoslovakia or Yugoslavia or Great Britain. In other words, Nigeria could have a peaceful divorce or a messy divorce and/or even a messy marriage while still staying together. The other thing I am afraid of are all the people, white/black living in the comfort of Europe who are supporting arms struggle in Nigeria without going there to carry arms. When Europeans start posting Biafran propaganda, I get scared. One encounter with a Biafran supporting person does not give you any understanding of the situation there. You already have blood on your hands. You are pushing people to fight a war where your own children would not die. That is not fair. You are the same people who will be shedding crocodile tears when people start dying. The only winners of any wars are always the arms industries. War is money for them. It pays your pension. To conclude, if there is a negotiated divorce, I will fly the Biafran flag in my house to celebrate with them. […]

Going to Africa with my son!

I am writing this somewhere 11000 feet above Egypt as the aircraft is preparing for a brief stop in Hurghada, Egypt. The final destination is Zanzibar and I am travelling with my eldest son. That the two of us could…

Trouble! Give me some light!

Trouble! I was really looking forward to the Migori nightlife. So far I have had the time of my life during this trip to Kenya. In spite of the heat and all, I have been on a high dosage of work–travel-work since I arrived. I went out briefly with Aurelia in Mombasa but going out in Migori was going to be a personal highlight. This was because for the first time since I arrived, I had nothing planned for the next day. So that meant I could relax and go with the flow of the Migori night. I was ready to rumble and jumble! So Aurelia, Louise, Teresa and I hit the town. We dropped at a joint where the DJ was playing some old Motown classics mixed with some latest African beats. We were having great fun enjoying the night. It was fascinating observing some subtle and not so subtle differences in the nightlife in Migori and that of some cities in The Netherlands. I am sure you all know those guys at clubs who would have fun no matter what? Well one of them was at this club. The whole time we were there he was just dancing; first by himself and later with apparently an old female acquaintance of his. Of course we were having loads of fun at his expense. Although the guy was having a good time dancing, it was obvious that he brought his own music! He had no rhythm at all! So much for the myths that all Africans can dance. Of course, Aurelia needed some light to do another quick Instagram post of our time in the club so a joke developed amongst us whenever she asked for us to provide her with some of our smartphone torchlight. And then all hell […]

I have a reputation for being a difficult

I have this reputation for being a difficult person to understand and to work with/for. I used to worry about that when I was 20 and I was at the university studying for my first degree. Even then I chose not to be popular but truthful. I used to worry about that when I was 25 setting up a national newspaper branch office in Abuja, Nigeria and colleagues were missing simple deadlines. This meant I had to work overtime to meet deadlines I set for myself as the branch manager. I used to worry about that when I moved to Germany and in the first months I couldn’t speak German and I had to rely on others to show me around. The same was the case when I moved to Holland. I used to worry about me being a difficult person to understand and to work with/for when I got my first production line job at a frozen cake-baking factory in Tilburg, Holland. Mostly I used to worry when colleagues were taking advantage of my lack of Dutch language skills to make racially offensive jokes at my expense. I used to worry when I became a youth worker in the then volatile city of Gouda and chose to confront the trouble-making youths instead of containing and indulging them like my colleagues did. My colleagues found me difficult because to them I was throwing stones in calm waters. I used to worry about me being a difficult person to understand and to work with/for when at 35 I set up Africa Night and one of the first deejays arrived at 12 midnight twice for a show that started at 10 pm! I used to worry about me being a difficult person to understand and to work with/for when he demanded I […]

People, you all should just shut up!

People, you all should just shut up! You don’t know what you ever are talking about! In America the poor elect the billionaire who made his billions by ripping off the poor. In Britain the people voted for Brexit. Who are they putting their trust in to make Brexit a success? A prime minister who voted to remain! In Holland people complain daily about selfish politicians who enrich themselves. Which political party do they vote into power when they had the chance to change the system? The very political party that is weekly in the news because of yet another self-enrichment scandal! The bankers brought the whole world economy down less than 10 years ago. France unlike many major world economies has never recovered from the pain. Who do the people of France put their trust in to fix the problem? Yep, you guessed it, a banker! Nigerians are clamouring for a strong and healthy economy but elected a sick and feeble person to rule them. India has suffered years of ethnic and religious riots and when it comes to electing the leader, they chose one of the most divisive and avowed sectarians to rule them. You need to fight corruption in Brazil? Just replace a small thieving leader with a mega big thieving leader. If you like Hungary, have spent decades fighting to be free, it only figures that you elect a someone who is going to curtail your freedom as your prime minister! One could go on and on. The fact is, every nation deserves its rulers. Full stop! So just shut up and be happy with whom you elected.

So you thought you knew me? Think again!

Most of you that know me, know me as the confident, self-assured, tall, sometimes friendly guy who seems to have what it takes to do whatever he wants. Without any self-doubt. I know this because I get told this on a daily basis. Not only by people who are true admirers but even by haters. I am that guy that many trust their inner secrets and emotion with. The one who is always there, willing to drop everything to help a friend in need. People trust me because they know I can feel and appreciate their feelings without being judgemental or prejudicial. My philosophies in life have always been 1. Unless you have walked a thousand metres in someone’s shoes, you cannot judge them and 2. I will pass judgement on others when I become a perfect person myself. Therein lies the essence of my whole life. I am the furthest from a perfect person you will ever know! I’m actually that guy who is extremely insecure. I am that guy who just now (literally this minute) was even afraid of asking a very simple question from the tram conductor just because I started shaking inside at the last moment. I only needed to ask one harmless question and I chickened out because of self-doubt. It is the reason I have decided to share this other side of me with you. How many of you would believe me when I say that I have missed a world of easy chances and opportunities in life because of my self-doubt? You see, I am mostly the opposite of the public persona you know. Even the people closest to me (partner, children and best friends included) don’t know the extent of my internal and never-ending struggles. I don’t blame them. When I talk, […]